Jump for joy? The Catch.

Goodbye, Aaron Heilman. I never liked you.

The Mets announced soon after that they had acquired J.J. Putz in a 12-player deal with the Mariners and Indians, sending relievers Aaron Heilman and Joe Smith, outfielder Endy Chavez and four prospects out of New York in exchange for Putz, outfielder Jeremy Reed and right-handed reliever Sean Green. (MLB.com)

Goodbye, Endy Chavez. You delayed the inevitable with the greatest defensive effort I've ever seen on television. I wish I had your bobble-head watching me as I type this blog.

Although not mentioned in the above block quote, one of the four prospects traded away was the dreaded Jason Vargas. I knew he was traded for Matt Lindstrom (silly Minaya). I didn't know he debuted the day Al Leiter was fired.

I won't talk about Putz, who isn't happy:

"It's not the ideal situation, but having the two of us at the back of the bullpen will be pretty strong," Putz said in a telephone interview on Wednesday night. "I will not change my approach at all. I will close the game in the eighth and give the ball to Frankie." (MLB.com)

or K-Rod until April.

Plenty of offseason chatter

Now that it's officially the offseason, here's this from the NYTimes.com:

Why not forbid any bank receiving taxpayer money to purchase naming rights to sports stadiums and arenas? Citigroup is handing the Mets something like $20 million a year to call their new stadium Citi Field. Surely, the Mets do not need Citigroup’s money — not to mention yours — to keep failing to make the playoffs.

That's from Clyde Haberman joshing the banks about ATM fees and non-working pens.

Non-working 'pens indeed!!!1!1!1!!!!!!

Here's a link to Clyde's article, in case he needs the cross-site linking love.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/31/nyregion/31nyc.html

And...

...the blog won't end here. Every once in awhile, when I get the chance, I will break down the season, the players, and provide the evidence for why each and every man wearing a Mess jersey should be fired.

...I won't follow the postseason.

...the Mess will never get another dollar from me.

I'm done

The worst result happened tonight.

But you already know that.

I try to keep the swearing to a minimum, but not right now.

Fuck them all to fuck, I say. Fire everyone. Start the Brooklyn Cyclones as the New Mets to christen the new ballpark.

Dog days

A few things:

1. Staten Island. - I visited my hometown from the 17th to the 24th. During that span, the Mess pulled some real bullshit. Exhibit A is on the right. Jason Marquis is from Staten Island, hates the Mess, and exacted his revenge. Currently, I don't disagree. Also, I might've mentioned this before, and I will again, the Mess have once again given someone his first, and if we look at our list, I think the Mess gave the last 3 pitchers to hit slams their first each. (I'd have to check the stats on Dontrelle, that homer hitting machine.)

I need to also say this: I've been keeping this blog catching pieces of games. Just enough to know what's going on. I'm a busy guy not getting paid to write this stuff. I watched the Mess lose Wednesday night from the (dis)comfort of my JetBlue seat. It was the first full game I watched this season. This happenstance leads me to

2. No clutch. Tonight Beltran won for us in the 9th. It's about time you with your excellent defensive effort (EDE) but looking-at-strike-three all too often. But, wtf about last night, David Wright? A man on third with no outs in a tied game in the bottom of the ninth. How about a bunt? No one would've seen it coming, and no one would've thought less of you, David, because you would've been the hero we've been waiting for since Darryl and Keith and Ray and Mookie and... back to

1. Staten Island. - I had some good pizza and White Castle. I caught some games on the idiot box. I spent most of my time not doing so because the Mess were going through a nice 5-5 span over ten games. Real nice.

3. I don't like losing. - I extend this to people with whom I associate. There are three games left. Three games we need to win like Italy needed that guy to make that penalty shot in the '94 World Cup, and, although he was the country's hero, he quickly cemented himself as the lame goat who shouldn't've been there because he was gimpy. The Mess are 9-6 against the Fishies. The Brewers are 5-8 against the Cubs. The Cubs are happy to split with the Mess. The Mess are happy to split with the Cubs, even though they should be f'ing pissed, full of murderous rage and ready to eat lightning and crap thunder (if it's even appropriate to reference Rocky when talking about the Mess).

4. Contract the Expos. - Awhile back, my friends, including Joe_bu, and I went on a baseball road trip during that messy time when we almost lost a professional baseball team or two to contraction. We went to Pittsburgh to see the Pirates beat the Brewers in the bottom of the ninth on our way to see the Mess beat the Indians and White Sox in consecutive games. I sat next to a girl who had less than half of her natural teeth who was from Milwaukee and rooting for her team. We had giant posters that stated, "Hey Bud, contract the Mets!" The cameras never picked our posters for broadcast. I've digressed. I've never rooted for the Nationals as hard as I will for these next three games, not even the last three games of last year, and that was the hardest rooting I've ever done for any team not named Mess or New York Football Giants.

5. Scheduling algorithm? - Slay the computers and people who make the MLB schedules. They should just take one look and say, "Hey, these teams are playing the same teams to finish off this season as last. Maybe we should change that." They didn't.

6. Uniform. - I am the proud new owner of a Mess jersey that reads "ABORT" as the last name. Soon enough, all the contributors to this blog will each have their own.

The circle is now complete.

I don't really know who reads this site. Maybe just its authors? Or maybe the Force is real, and there's a Death Star looming around, and a certain Tie-Fighter made it's way to Washington, D.C.

Eleven days ago, I looked at the Mess' upcoming schedule and saw that we had to face Darth Vader tonight, and that our playoffs hopes were dashed.

You might remember my post about prognostication. You might read it soon. Or never.

What you will remember is the night the Mess lost 1 - 0 to the worst team in the National League.

Hall of Fame-bound
Odalis Perez
on the mound.

I'm also a member of a poetry blog. bandersnatchery.blogspot.com.

playoffs pitching playoffs pitching playoffs pitching...

Hmm.

Hrm..

Groan...

NO!!!!!!

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!11!!!!!!1!!!

If we make it to the postseason, we might all, as die-hard fans (not Die Hard fans, but maybe some of us are, yippie ki yay) make these same noises, as what happened at the end of Sunday's game... as I did so vigorously, aided my my megaphone, at the end of the Mess' World Series bid against Yadier Molina some time ago.

We don't even really have a focus for our rage and scapegoating. No Heart Attack Johnny. No I'm-Gonna-Bang-This-Baseball-Against-My-Cup- To-Show-You-What-A-Man-I-Am Armando (I should've always been an 8th inning setup man) Benitez. We have to yell at a bunch of guys all at once. I'm glad I have a megaphone.

make or break? try? no...do or do not.

I was going to talk about the Mess v. Philthies.

Then I saw this:


The Mess have to face Darth Vader... on the road. That's it - our playoffs hopes are dashed.

Rick Peterson, Greatest Pitching Coach Ever

Every once in a while, the players offer a crack of daylight into the secret world of Major League Baseball. Ben Shpigel had this in today's NYT article:

Pelfrey’s has improved the command of his fastball, particularly down in the strike zone, and he has integrated a curveball into his repertory again. That came at the recommendation of Dan Warthen, who succeeded Rick Peterson as the Mets’ pitching coach on June 17, and Pelfrey recalled exactly why he stopped throwing it. During a bullpen session in September 2006, Pelfrey failed to throw a strike in 19 out of 20 pitches. Afterward, he said, Peterson told him never to throw the pitch again.

I went on an interview the other day where I had to write some code on a whiteboard, which is the worst way to gauge programming prowess - me in a monkey suit, they with their grimaced visages watching the guy in the monkey suit make all kinds of mistakes he wouldn't ordinarily make because he's nervous and in a monkey suit - and they didn't want to hire me because of my poor grasp of the programming language.

Now, I'm no pitching coach, but if I saw a guy not throw a pitch for a strike 19 out of 20 times, I'd make the guy try to throw it for a strike for another few hundred times before declaring the pitch off-limits.

We could've spared ourselves so many losses at the hand of Pelfrey and his one pitch of varying speeds and unvarying flatness that made me and so many other fans grimace ourselves.

A bet

My cousin and I made a bet - not for money or anything - on whether the Mess would be in first place by the end of this week.

We're at the precipice, I guess. The Philthies have a good chance tonight against a Larry-less Atlanta team tonight, and who knows what aberration might happen tonight - normally the Mess like to give rookies their firsts - wins, home runs, home runs by a pitcher, kiss from Morgana - but they beat the hell out of the Cards' rook going tonight, Boggs. The Cards might do better if they let Wade Boggs throw the first three innings. Wouldn't that be a great addendum to Mess shame lore.

Ha! Mess shame lore.

Shocker

There's one in the stink alright. Anyone who is surprised that Moises Alou is done for the season, possibly for his career, raise your hand....



Anyone who raised their hand is a liar.

"I told you so," or "Ya gotta believe?"

I'm thinking of reserving my new post until after tonight's game.

While it seems as if writers at CBS and SI are reading this blog, or scanning my brain (and Joe_bu's), I don't think anyone else is, so who cares if I predict the score? Oh, yeah, that whole probability thing, and why I don't bet on sports.

I'm rambling. My brain is as much a mess as The Mess.

Tony Awards

Jerry Manuel is following in the footsteps of Sweeney Todd and West Side Story; he's whipping out the knife and he's gonna start cutting.

If the Mets turn into a bad off-Broadway musical, God knows they've already got enough drama, then I officially quit the world.

Good Morning Sunshine

Now get lost.

How bad are the Mets that they can't even fire their manager the right way. They make the move that everyone wanted, but look like a bunch of jack-asses in the process. Woke up this morning to Scandal's 1982 classic "Goodbye to You" and found out Randolph is gone. After a win. In California. Announced by a 3:15AM EST (What the fuck, Omar?) press release.

I'm starting to believe Minaya doesn't understand the concept of time. Maybe that's why he's leaning on a first baseman and an outfielder from the Mesozoic.

A fitting title...

Some might think I haven't been blogging because I'm so upset at the Mess' play.

Some might think I've been too busy, or lost interest.

I'd say it's because I know.

And you know.

These Mets, like so many others, need to be aborted.

Can't hit. Can't pitch. No clutch.

None of them deserve to be All Stars.

Tiered Ticket Prices and April Results

I despise tiered ticketing schemes. With a passion. All these price changes based on who the team is playing and when tells me is that management believes their team isn't good enough to make money on it's own. Kind of a slap to the face for the fan, huh? "We're not going to field a good team for you to see, so now we want you to pay more to see a team that knows what it's doing." Now that's bad if you're, say, Pittsburgh. (Pittsburgh, by the way, is a perennial loser and needs every dollar it can get. They do not have a tiered pricing plan. Tickets are the same no matter what. The only teams that have full breakdowns of their schedule are the Mets, both Chicago teams and Toronto. Great company to be in.)

But lets say you're a team that claims to be good. A World Series contender. What does it tell your fans then? "We're a good team, but if you want to see the good games, you're going to pay even more for it." I say "Bullshit", but I also say, "You better fucking win."

So, with that in mind, I'm going to keep track of the Mets home game by month, and see just how much the fans are paying, on average, for wins and losses. And along comes April.

April had 14 home games, in which the Mets went 9-5. Of the 14 games, there was 1 Platinum game, 8 Bronze games and 5 Value games. Based on a sellout of Shea, the average price for a seat for a Platinum game is $64.90, Bronze is $34.45 and Value is $28.36 (Gold is $52.73 and Silver is $46.64, but they don't start till May 30.)

Platinum - 1 Loss at a total price of $3,657,115
Bronze - 5 Wins for a total price of $8,516,453.40
3 Losses for a total price of $5,511,655.50
Value - 4 Wins for a total price of $5,601,918.78
1 Loss for a total price of $1,611, 846.60

Total price for wins - $14,118,372.18
Total price for losses - $10,780,617.10

Price per win = $1,568,708
Price per loss = $2,156,123.42

If we take the one Platinum loss out of the equation, the prices per win/loss start to be closer to even. But that's the point, isn't it? That opening day, Platinum stinker that the Mets put up certainly didn't make anyone feel like they got their money's worth, did it? No one wants to pay Porsche prices for a Hyundai.

Prognostication

I am not in the business of telling, you, myself, or anyone, what people are going to do in the future. That is a fool's business. Or a psychic's. I am neither.

Extrapolation, on the other hand, is rooted in mathematics. Now, I'm not about to rattle my SABRE, heh, but I will say that the first couple of innings usually tell me what the end result will be. The key word is usually, and I'll get back to that.

The Mess were done before they started last night. They looked dead. Who knows how many of them even knew Eaton's record against them? As it is, those wonderfully didactic ESPN commentators let us know that knowledge of the opposing pitcher was varied and inaccurate based on interviewing a few of the Mess players, and then, for reasons still unknown to me, bifurcated the answers into those from right-handed batters, and the lefties. As if left-handedness improves? memory. (Yes, there's a question mark before the end of the sentence. Use your right- or left-handedness to figure it out.)

Whether we assume the entire team, or no one, knew of Eaton's success, both extrapolation and prognostication can fail for one very simple reason - the independence of events.

Probability models show that if you flip an unbiased coin infinite times, you'll get a 50-50 split on average. In actuality, you will be hard pressed to even flip the coin just ten times to get 5 heads and 5 tails. And that's just a coin! Imagine all the factors at play just for one pitch from a pitcher. I'm not going to list any of them - the situation is already mind-boggling.

So, on average, with a pitcher who's been successful against the Mess on the mound, and the players looking like they're getting ready to do their taxes instead of playing ball, I'm going to turn off the game and find something less heartbreaking to do.

Yes, they did get to Eaton in the sixth. Yes, the Mess fans were cheering in the stands. But then that guy who was hitting all those homers ahead of or behind Bonds in San Francisco put one out. And Feliciano had no business pitching against him. I don't care what his numbers are against right-handed batters.

And then Rollins' sub put the nail in the coffin. The Mess are pissed, and didn't hide their feelings from the reporters.

And how did I spend my Sunday? I got some work done, and came up with the idea for this article.

Get this guy some plastic surgery

But not the "lets lose these wrinkles" surgery, or "hey look at the big boobies" surgery. Lets make Angel Pagan look old. Maybe that way we can trick management into thinking he's so old that he should play left field every day. Right now he's hitting like Moises Alou, but without the walker and osteoarthritis.

Pedro Martinez - 2008 Cy Young Runner-up

April Fool's...

Johan Santana to have Tommy John surgery

Ha Ha! A poor April Fools joke? No. A dark prophesy waiting to come true. Yep.

Met trades seem to come back and bite them in the ass, and this one started to loosen its jaw yesterday.

Johan Santana - 7.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 runs, 2 walks and 8 K's with the win.

Carlos Gomez - 2 for 3 with a double, a walk, 2 runs and 2 stolen bases.

Keep those knee tendons loose Johan, your elbow's going to need it.

Meet the Mets

The Marlins made a huge mistake - they didn't read my blog.

Give the Mess loaded bases with NO outs so they hardly score. Not that I always equate "clutch" with Mess, but the Mets came through today.

My issue with the Mess overscoring in one game, and coming up just short in the following games to lose a series still stands (I'm not making any predictions).

To add to my previous post, yes, gauging the Mess after they've played the Phillies and Braves a dozen times in the next couple dozen games will sway my decision toward purchasing MLB.TV, but I don't think the math is right, adding the Cubs' 2 games to those other 12. It's just the law of numbers.

haha

Eat a fat one, Braves. Congrats, Nats, on Opening Night.

Phillies, Braves, and who?!?!

As it is, it's understandable that when the Mets organization tries to sell me a multi-game pack of tickets, they are going to throw in Mets v. Nats, or Mets v. NL Central, because they want me to buy tickets to those shitty games, where I'd otherwise not in hell. You take the good, you take the bad...

But, when I'm reading this gem by Marty Noble on the Mets website:

No single sequence of games in a season defines a team. But playing the Phillies (six times), Braves (six) and Cubs (two) a total of 14 times in the first 24 games ought to tell the Mets where they stand comparatively to some of the other top teams in the NL.

Marty...the Cubs? Sure, stats people are projecting them to finish first, but the Mess destroyed the NL Central last year, posting 5-2 or 4-2 records against each of those teams. I am not worried when the NL Central comes calling. The Nats on the other hand...

The Mess lose the games they're not supposed to lose, and they win some games that they're never supposed to win. I would not be surprised if Mark Hendrickson and the Fish beat the Mess on Opening Day. Further along, I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate Fox Saturday Baseball and its worst announcers (yes! worse than Morgan and Miller!), and the Mets have a horrible record on Fox Saturday. So when the Mess are up against the Braves' five-hole on Saturday, I'm rooting for a not-so-embarrassing loss. That's the max I give the Mess on that Saturday. ESPN might grab that Sunday game if John Smoltz is healthy enough to tear the Mess a new one versus Johan.

Home opener against Philly? I don't know who is responsible for the MLB schedule anymore, it used to be a couple of boring ass statisticians who lived on Staten Island and never watched baseball, stating that their favorite team was the Senators, but there is no reason whatsoever to bring the Phillies to New York for Home Game 1. None. Even if the Mess destroy them, they will, guaranteed, waste all of their scoring in the first game, lose 2-1 or 1-0 each of the next two games, and then those jerks will be laughing and all over the airwaves saying how awesome they are, even though they aren't. It is still incomprehensible how the Phillies managed to get to a point where they could embarrass themselves on the national stage. Laughing, Rollins, is a defense mechanism.

Here's something that eats it for the Mess - Home ->@Yanks ->@Braves ->@Colorado ->Home. Granted, I believe the Rockies 2007 campaign was a fluke, and who knows how healthy the Braves will be at that point, and the Yanks don't have the Mess' number anymore, but @Yanks for any team in the MLB is the blackest day on the calendar. And to go the thousands of miles to make the round trip? First class flights aside, it's still a long trip.

Deception

The depth chart image is deceptive in that it leads you to believe that there are more uninjured players then there really are. Three of the uninjured are Damion Easley, who can't play third, second and right field at the same time. It's debatable that he can play one of those positions at one time.

Did I miss any?

On the bright side...

at least the Mets were smart enough to drop Kaz Matsui back in 2006. For if we was still a Met, he would be just another addition to the injury report.

But wait, that's not the whole story. Matsui is expected to miss four or five days after being diagnosed with a condition known as "anal fissure."

Do I even have to make the joke?

The living end.

So.

Johan.

Way to go fending off the Jerx.

Now, if only we could do something about our fans.

That's right, jerks! With a 'k!' Mets fans, it's one thing to bemoan exorbitant Regular Season ticket prices for a team that's only going to rip your heart out just when you've thought the team has it locked, but Spring Training games are cheap, and your attendance prevents articles in the NY Times like this:

For Mets, Tradition Field Looks Like Red Sox Nation

James A. Finley/Associated Press

Red Sox fans were a vocal majority of the largest-paid crowd (7,353) in Tradition Field history.

By BEN SHPIGEL

Published: March 11, 2008


PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. — Johan Santana received a pleasant round of applause when he was introduced as the Mets’ starting pitcher before Monday’s game. The fans, though, were just warming up their vocal cords. They were really waiting for the next player to be announced: “Leading off the game for the Boston Red Sox, the center fielder, No. 46, Jacoby Ellsbury.”

His name could barely be heard over the din. The Mets might have batted last and worn their white uniforms, but they were not the home team in Monday’s 10-inning 1-1 tie. Red Sox fans swooped into Fenway Park, er, Tradition Field, comprising a vocal majority of the largest paid crowd (7,353) in the stadium’s history.

A quick scan of the lower seating level could find Ortiz and Matsuzaka jerseys with every swivel of the head, although green Red Sox caps were popular, too. One man wore a T-shirt exhorting the Yankees to do, um, something not nice, but it was unclear where his allegiances stood Monday.

The Mets and the Red Sox, despite their memorable tussle in the 1986 World Series, are unofficial allies. They share a common enemy in the Yankees...

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Ben, you're a die-hard fan, you're the Times' Mets Beat Writer, you've got a blog, but where's your brain? Fans of the Mets are fans of the Mets, and root for whomever is playing against the Yankmees. When the Jerx and Yanks play each other, we want both teams to lose. The Jerx are earning their right to be rooted against during the season as well. Mets fans would love nothing more than to see the Jays or Rays win the AL East. Sorry, Orioles, you suck.

Hey Wilpons, listen up! Let Mets fans buy Mets tickets. Subway Series is supposed to be filled with Dodger/Met Blue, not that other blue. And, if we make the World Series ever again, make ticket buyers pass a Mets trivia quiz before purchase. Look at the f'in guy in this Times article!

Everyone, most of the Mess are still hurt.

This just in...

Today, the Mess fielded a squad of minor leaguers behind Oliver Perez...and won! Oliver didn't help.

Cliff Lee, fighting for the five hole in the Indian wagon circle, gave up two runs immediately, and left the game in the first. Olmedo Saenz (We have Olmedo Saenz? My perennial black horse to sit on my fantasy bench, Olmedo Saenz?!?!) doubled and then scored in the first on a walk, the last pitch from Lee. Saenz also added a solo shot in the fourth. A career day for Olmedo.

We also got some quality out of Reyes today - second baseman Aregnis Reyes.

And why would I spend so many words on these guys? Because these guys are your New York Mess.

From ESPN:

Lee faced a Mets' lineup missing all of its big names as manager Willie Randolph's injury-bugged squad didn't have Carlos Beltran, Carlos Delgado, Moises Alou, Ryan Church, Jose Reyes, Luis Castillo and others, who all stayed back in Port St. Lucie to either rehab or work out.

And Oliver Perez? ...tagged for six runs and six hits in his second start this spring.

Meet the Mess. Greet the Mess. Come on out to Shea, or watch on your tv, and pay an exorbitant amount of money to watch the other teams Beat the Mess.

Also, this is awesome:

Oft-injured pitcher Mike Hampton of the Atlanta Braves left his spring training start Friday because of a strained right groin.

Hampton's return

After sitting on the sidelines for 2½ years thanks to injuries, Mike Hampton is back in spring training with a baseball in his hands. And he's loving every minute of it. Story

Hampton, who hasn't pitched in a major league game since August 2005, made it to the second inning of his second outing this spring before getting hurt.

Mike Hampton is awesome.

Wait and see. We'll get one of these two All-Stars to fill one of our gaping holes.

Which Way to the Infirmary?

Spring is a time of renewal, rebirth and hope. And while Mets fans are hoping that their team will recover from the epic collapse that marred the 2007 season, the advent of spring training has not done much to renew their faith in the Metropolitans.

Every day brings news of another injury - the latest being card-carrying AARP member Moises Alou's impending hernia operation, which will keep him out of action for four to six weeks. Meanwhile Carlos Beltran has yet to play a spring training game after off-season knee surgery, and Endy Chavez hasn't played a game this month either.

Well, at least our infield looks good...wait, what's that you say? Delgado is hurt? Again?

That's right; as if having question marks surrounding the entire outfield isn't enough, the right side of the Mets infield is also not at 100%. Carlos Delgado has a sore hip (surprise, surprise - is Doug Mientkiewicz still available?), which required a MRI recently, and Luis Castillo is also recovery from off-season surgery.

(If Omar Minaya was smart he'd wrap Jose Reyes and David Wright in bubble wrap for the rest of March just to be safe).

Okay, so our position players are hurting - but how about our pitchers! They're looking good...right?

Not really - El Duque is still in pain...from a bunion. That's right, one of the starting pitchers for the 2008 Mets apparently shares the same problem as geriatric senior citizens. Meanwhile, our newly-acquired ace, Johan Santana, got shelled in his first outing, and question marks still surround Pedro Martinez as he enters the last year of his contract following a season where he sat out most of the year after surgery.

So there you have it - your 2008 New York Mets! Sponsored by Blue Cross/Blue Shield Health Insurance and Dr. Scholl's Foam Bunion Cushions.

And the sick ward gets bigger and bigger...

Is anyone surprised?

I'm not. Moises Alou is out until May with a hernia. Originally reported as 4-6 weeks, now 8 due to surgery. Minimum. And he's not what you'd call a quick healer.

Does anyone on this team have legs that function? Beltran - knees, Castillo - knees, Schneider - hamstring, Delgado - hip, Hernandez - foot. Christ, someone buy these guys an Ace bandage or two.

the mets blog is born!

Hi all. My name is Vin, and I am a die-hard Mets fan. My fellow blog authors are the same.

We equate our devotion to the Mets with being addicted to black tar heroin, or being a part of the Corleones - we want to get away, but we keep getting pulled back in. And for those who know, it's like living on Staten Island.

There will be no sugar coating on this site - shredded wheat, not frosted mini wheat.

I have little hope for the Mets this season (any season). From firejoemorgan.com:

Aside from Santana, Jose Reyes and David Wright,

That's a little like saying "aside from Bird, McHale, and Parish." "Aside from Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson, there are like no fucking presidents on Mt. Rushmore."...

Can the addition of Santana, who can help out only once every five days, really cure all that ailed the 2007 Mets, the failures of heart and discipline and character?

No. They're doomed. It's March 4th. Rebuild. Put 'em on a submarine and launch it into space. Santana too. Who ever said he had any heart? He sucks, am I right people?

The Mets suck, and the season hasn't started yet. Abort now, take the season off, and come back next year.